She became increasingly dissatisfied with her life. The never ending to-do list, the rain that had continued for days and the mud that came with it. She was tired of her cooped up children and their constant boredom and fighting. She felt as though life had shrunk to these four walls and trying to juggle all the housework and meals as well as the constant needs and demands of her children and fussy baby.
The more she thought about all the hard things in her life, the more discouraged she became until all she could see was the negative, and every set back only added fuel to her mental rant.
But slowly, through a song she heard and a conversation with a friend, and a verse she read in her Bible, the Lord began convicting her that her circumstances were not what needed to change, it was her attitude.
She hardly knew how to begin, but she was willing to try. So she tried to put herself in the shoes of her children and see that they needed her time and attention too. She stopped trying to get her work done all the time and played a game with them, and then included them when it was time to get busy again. She refused to dwell on it when the toddler spilled water all over the floor while rinsing the dishes, and instead of nagging her oldest about how to do a job, she praised his innovative way of approaching the task.
She determinedly kept her attitude cheerful when mud got tracked in and the cat slipped inside the door to pee on the rug, and as problems arose she dealt with them promptly instead of waiting to discipline until she was angry at the infractions.
And suddenly she noticed that the atmosphere of their home was changing too. Along with her own attitude, the attitudes of her children had become happier, and more content. By her inclusion they began to feel important and a needed part of the family.
As they worked and played together they danced to music and enjoyed each other more than they had in a long while. Many of the fights were erased, and the boredom was all but gone. And in the moments she did feel overwhelmed, instead of internalizing it and fuming about all the needs, she talked to God about it, and in the praying she found the strength to go on with a calmness she had not possessed before.
She was rather startled to realize what a big difference her own attitude made in the home, and as she looked for good things all around her she felt her outlook change even more to notice the blessings all around her.
But when she thought of sharing her experience with others in the hope of helping someone else frustrated in the same way, she suddenly felt insecure. What if she were the only one who wrestled with daily contentment? What if others would look down on her for her weakness and struggles?
And then she had a brilliant idea. She would write it in third person so it would not feel as incriminating.
This is so VERY true — no matter what season we are in. Thank you for the reminder and gentle encouragement thru sharing.
You are not alone! Your post is very real in my life as well. My attitude has a great effect on the children, and can be changed! Thanks for sharing
You are not the only one!! And thank you, for the reminder to change my own attitude first, when the children seem to do nothing but fight.
Thanks for that! It’s so easy for me to get discontent and overwhelmed in the dailiness of mothering & housekeeping too!
I really enjoy your writing, Tabitha! I enjoyed watching you relate to your children when Betty Joy and I were with you and Andy in your “cabin” in AK. Keep on keeping on! God bless you for sharing your struggles and victories!
My, I needed this reminder! Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable and honest in order to help adjust other mindsets as well. Courage to you today!
Tabitha, that is a beautiful testimony!
Just what I needed today!! You are NOT alone and by your gracious sharing I now know I am also not alone in the trying days of fussy baby and bickering, bored children!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me inspiration to keep trying to become the mother God would have me to be!!
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.