It seems like no one likes to talk about child training because it feels like you shouldn’t talk about it unless you have it all together.
Honestly I’ve found that it really goes in seasons for me. Times when I’m being intentional about training, my children do wonderfully! But then I tend to slack off, particularly during busy times, and we slowly get into bad habits again until I wake up and think, Something Has Got To Change! And so we work on training again.
But amidst the seasons of obedient children or not, I wish it was something moms talked about more, because we could learn so much from each other. Sometimes in the midst of the petty everyday attitudes, it’s hard to have enough perspective to know what needs to change.
There is a big difference between discipline and training, but I hear them used interchangeably all the time. They go hand in hand, but are two very different things.
Discipline means consequences for bad behavior.
Training means teaching a child how to behave correctly.
Discipline is reactive, training is proactive.
Discipline by itself makes you feel like you’re always a step behind your child, giving consequences after the fact, after they have already not come when they’re called.
Training on the other hand, helps you get a step ahead of the behavior. It is communicating clear lines to your children and walking them through the behavior you expect so there are no surprises. They know right from wrong, they know how you expect them to behave.
Proverbs 22:6 says, Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Practical ways to train:
Make sure you state your expectations.
Practice the proper behavior over and over throughout the day. If a child disobeys, practice the correct response a few times.
Make a game out of practicing obedience. Give silly commands, like stick out your tongue, or crawl to the refrigerator. Work on first time, cheerful obedience, and soon it becomes a habit to obey what you say.
And most importantly, prioritize a good relationship. If there is love between you and your child, he will want to please you and that helps there be less conflict.
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I’m young and in the thick of things as far as laying foundations for later. Any advice? I’ll take all the tips I can get!
Good post! And amen to what was shared. “More is caught then taught.” Our children are no longer little children but in looking back i know i didnt realize just how true this statement really was. But now that our children are older i see myself in my girls so often.
Be a ‘being’ person- enjoy looking at that book with them for the 10th time in one day instead of just quickly getting it done so you can get back to your own work.
Training is here a little and there a little and never giving up. But what will speak the loudest of all to our children is our own example.
This is really good!
Personally I think that we as Moms also need to model in our own lives what we want our children to be. We need to set good Godly examples of kindness, honesty, obedience, respect, diligence, etc.
If in our children’s presence we disdain our husband’s direction, slam the preacher’s message, gossip on the phone, drive at a high rate of speed down the road, exaggerate our point, etc. our children will learn from our example.
Likewise if we show respect to our husbands, speak truthfully , honestly , and kindly at all times, and submit to all authority our children will learn from our example as well😁
I agree with this 100%! Thanks so much for sharing.